02 October 2017

The love for ludicrous length

Recently, I watched a video with certain instructions on certain software, and there was one thing in it that just made me gasp in utter amazement.

I can't believe that native English speakers pronounce "setup.exe" (or whichever filename in the form *.exe) as "setup dot ee ex ee" instead of simply "setup ex-ay". In my native language I have never ever in my life heard anyone say "dot" and spell out "exe" letter by letter. I mean, you obviously cannot pronounce "jpg" as such. You have to say "jay-pee-gee". But "exe", "com", "bat", "ini" and such are perfectly comfortable to pronounce as words (and, needless to say, always pronounced as words by my countrypeople). So what is with this native English speakers' spelling-out obsession? I mean, if someone can't recognise the file extension "exe" without having it spelt out letter by letter, or doesn't know that there is a dot between "setup" (or whichever other filename) and "exe", then he has no business talking about computer files to start with. You don't discuss car engines with someone who doesn't know what a cylinder is.

This reminds me of how I couldn't believe my ears when I, years ago, heard for the first time how a native English speaker said "double-u double-u double-u whatever dot com". It's just mind-blowing. Considering how often people in our time tell URL's to each other, I would go crazy if I had to say and hear "double-u double-u double-u" all the time. By contrast, in our language the letter "v" is called "vee" ("veh" for you the English speakers) and the letter "w" is called "kaksisvee". But "www" in URL's is always pronounced "vee-vee-vee". We know that "vee" actually stands for the letter "v", but we still pronounce "www" as if it was "vvv" because nobody, really nobody, can be bothered to say "kaksisvee-kaksisvee-kaksisvee". (And, as I hardly need to tell you, everyone has enough mental capacity to know that when someone says "vee-vee-vee", he means "www".) Astonishingly, native English speakers seem to have no problem with pronouncing nine syllables in front of almost every Web address that are always the same, and to do that frequently, on a regular basis. Somehow their brains seem to be wired in an entirely different way.

The list goes on. Just recently I heard someone say "Windows eight dot one". I was half expecting to wake up the next moment and realise I was just having a crazy dream.

Or here's a mind-blowing quote from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piano:
"fingers and thumbs".
Homo sapiens and English-speaking peoples?

And speaking of the newer Windowses, I was once more left in utter disbelief when I saw various people use the expression "tap or click" (or "click or tap", "tap/click" or "click/tap") in various computer-related articles. I mean, everyone knows that clicking on one type of devices corresponds to tapping on other type of devices. He who fails to understand that the terms "to tap" and "to click" are equivalent, needs to either get psychiatric help or turn for assistance to a much younger friend or relative, instead of the rest of us having to write "tap or click" each and every fucking time. But, astonishing as it may seem, the native English speakers seem to just love such insane verbosity.

I wonder when you will start writing "I came out of the lift or elevator and entered my flat or apartment".
Added 3 years later:
Now that time has arrived. I saw a forum post titled "What is your favourite/favorite movie?"
Stop the world. I want to get off.








2 comments:

  1. Evidence English is moving in the direction of becoming a full blown isolating language. Isolating languages love these kinds of compounds, and some make no semantic sense.

    Mandarin examples:
    Dong1-xi1 (east-west)="object" (???)
    Da4-xiao3 (big-small)="size"
    Wu4-se4 (matter-color)= "search for" (???)
    Qian3-cai3 (cash-money)="wealth"

    Hell, in the American south, people say "stick-pin" and "ink-pen" a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "fingers and thumbs"
    I assure you a century from now, "finger-n'-thumb" will be the new English word for "hand" or "paleontology assistant".

    ReplyDelete